A First Opening Event as Tovah.
A Fabulous Night.
There have been a lot of firsts for Tovah over the past few months, and last Wednesday, Oct. 14 marked another: our first Opening Event as Tovah.
Lauren Tabak Fass, president of Tovah, called the meeting to order with these words:
“While our name has changed, our purpose has not. Our history, our relationships, our values, and our commitment to making an impact in our community remain at the heart of who we are.”
And there were close to 300 people in the room to share in the good that Tovah brings to our members and volunteers and the community. Lauren welcomed everyone to be part of Tovah in a way that works for them.
“Tovah is the women who have been involved for 50 years and the women who joined with their ticket for this event. Tovah is someone who volunteers several times a month, the person who makes and introduction, the person that speaks up on an issue she cares about, and the person who makes it possible for us to keep doing this work through their support,” she said.
“It is all of us together. You are Tovah. We are Tovah.”
A Kids Essentials Closet Story
Then it was time to hear more about that work we do. Tovah’s Executive Director Caitlin Higgins Joy talked about the importance of our community partnerships, highlighting one of Tovah’s longstanding programs focused on kids and families: the Kids Essentials Closet.
Alexis Jarrett, Community Coordinator for the Forest Street and Heywood Avenue schools in Orange, works with Tovah ‘s KEC volunteers to make sure the closets are stocked, school staff is aware of the resources and, most importantly, that the students can access what they need in an emergency or to address a longer-term issue.
She told the story of one girl who was having accidents on her way to the bathroom. This went on for several days, and each time, the KEC was able to provide new, clean underwear and pants so she could return to class, and her parents didn’t need to make an unplanned visit to the school.
However, the accidents continued and the team soon realized the girl was having trouble with her pants – they were the wrong size and unbuttoning them was a challenge. Once again, the KEC had a solution. The student got new pants in a more manageable style, and soon the accidents stopped.
“Your donations helped us do more than change a child’s clothes. They helped us identify a problem, find a solution and restore a child’s confidence.” She continued, “Your generosity does more than fill a closet or fill a bus. It fills a need, restores confidence, preserves dignity, and reminds our children and families they are not alone.”
The Main Event
It was then time for our featured speaker. When we determined the format for the evening, there was only one person who came to mind to moderate the conversation. Andrea Lavinthal, Executive Director for Special Integrated Projects at PEOPLE … and a Tovah Life Member from Livingston … was the only – and a perfect – choice.
Andrea quickly welcomed author and actress Jill Kargman to the stage, and what followed was a lively, funny and at times thought provoking conversation about Jill’s work, her family, her online presence and how she expresses her Jewishness both loudly and proudly.
The conversation was sprinkled with some memorable lines, and a very clear point of view.
On how she views her Jewish identity: “We’re not trying to take over the world. We’re just out here trying to live our lives.”
On her latest movie, Influenced, now streaming: “I wanted to explore some of the things my friends were going through – separation or divorce, children getting closer to leaving the nest, and getting a glimpse at what that next chapter may look like for so many of us.” The movie also features a roster of well-known names, some of whom Jill knew for a very long time and some who she just asked to be in the film. “My dad always said don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. The worst they can do is say no.”
On her obsession with mah jong and why she feels it heals something inside: “I find it the anti-technology and lets my synapses fire in a good way. Plus, I’m bad at sports!” There are also those who don’t always find it as calming, saying, “I can’t take it anymore! I’m going to Bloomingdales.” Jill was off to play in the world Mah Jong games last week where she placed in the top 50 of all the competitors.
On her and her family’s obsession with death and her self-described embrace of the “valor of pallor”, topics explored in her book Sprinkle Glitter on My Grave: “My dad always said the most morbid people are the happiest.” That was followed by the story of how choosing his gravesite turned into a family affair involving letters of recommendation, site visits and ultimately, a peaceful ending.
On her social media presence and dealing with the negative comments: “It’s been a little lonely lately, and I’d much rather be laughing at things with my friends. I don’t consider myself an activist, but I think it is important to speak out.”
Asked to name her Jewish Mount Rushmore, Jill offered these four names: Woody Allen (with a comment about separating the man from the art), Matt Stone, creator of South Park, comedian Judy Gold and Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff.
Proud History, Important Mission, Exciting Future
Tovah’s first Opening Event concluded, with a lucky few claiming their raffle prizes on the way out. Everyone headed home with a sweet treat and a reminder the opportunities that come with being part of Tovah.
“We all have a stake in Tovah’s success. We all have a role to play in shaping its future. You are Tovah and we are Tovah and together we can create good in ways none of us could accomplish alone,” Lauren said.
“We all belong to something bigger than ourselves – a community with a proud history, an important mission and an exciting future.”
Thank You
A night like Opening Event is not possible without the hard work of many people. The team this year was led by event co-chairs Julie Cohen and Tara Heyderman, alongside VP of Volunteer Engagement Stacey Gold. Many of our raffle prizes were generously donated by members, and they were lovingly wrapped by Lori Gelman and Caryn Salm. Paula Green helped sell raffle tickets during the event.
The entire Tovah staff, Caitlin Higgins Joy, Sarah Cohen, Tom Ferri, Lisa Golodner, Patty Kremen, Debi Lewis, Dana Miceli, Jackie Quigley, Liz Reilly and Brielle Smith, each played important roles in ensuring a fantastic night.
The delicious autumnal treats were from Greenplated by Beth, with flowers from Lori Gelman. And a special thank you to our hosts at Temple B’nai Abraham.
Opening Event is made possible by a generous gift from Ellen Legow and Donald Legow (z’l).